Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Yes I want a cookie....dammit!!

I definitely know now what kind of eater I am...took me a few weeks to track it but I definitely eat when Im stressed and frustrated and when its that time of the month..when they both come together Im in big trouble!!! On days where I am struggling with my food intake it seems that everything stands out even work, I am surrounded by food...pot lucks, cookies and snacks delivered at meetings..lunch meetings, dinner meetings...chili cookoffs, "just because" snacks!!! It literally drives me crazy!! I sometimes have all the willpower in the world to say no thanks but other days, like today I fight it so hard and end up just getting annoyed.

I have a boss who eats ALL THE TIME..its a habit for her..she loves to snack on things..she talks with her mouth full, and always has some type of snack or sandwich n front of her..she isnt huge my any means, I would say slightly overweight but everytime I meet with her she is eating something, I was especially hungry today so when I met with her at 11am she had a bag of cheese chex mix on her desks just munching away. I just ignored it..than another person came in to join the meeting and she began to snack away..I sat there gettting so agitated during the meeting. as soon as it was over I hauled butt out of the office. Than one of my coworkers asked me to go to lunch with her at a local mexican rest..I really wanted to since I hadnt been out for lunch much since my surgery and i really missed our "vent" sessions ...but I decided to stay in and eat my brown rice, shrimp and broccoli. Than someone came around and asked if I wanted anything from chic filet and that they were running to pick up the orders piled in I kept thinking about how I really could eat a chicken sandwich washed down with a big ole fountain coke..*sigh*. At one point in my boss's office I got so annoyed I said " OMG people can you stop with the food??!" they said sorry but kept on eating. I miss coke so much sometimes...lately Iv wanted it more but I found that when I eat certain things is when I want one more like chocolate, which I had my first piece of today cause I was once again in my boss's office later in the day and she was eating one of those huge chocolate bars and kept asking me if I wanted a piece and I finally succumbed to peer pressure. I wasnt hungry when I eat it but I had such an urge to snack So about an hour later right a coworker of mine bought cookies for her entire team and kept asking if I wanted one..I just kept saying no but I really did want one. I went into another meeting and that person was sitting there eating cookies while we she is munching away she says " how much weight have you lost anyway?" I said about 30lbs. She said "damn, wow"..than stuffed the cookie in her My point is that is a willpower struggle all friggin day!!! and when Im stressed or pmsing its so hard to turn it down and than I end up getting extremely frustrated and almost blow up at someone...just over crazy is that?

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