Monday, August 1, 2011

Saturday, July 30, 2011



WELL I JUST REALIZED MY YEAR ANNIVERSARY WAS TODAY! I cannot believe I didnt even realize it until 1030 tonight! I have been waiting for this and am a little disappointed I forgot! things have been crazy for me lately, I received a promotion at work and have been working really hard, my husband and I are building a home and its coming down the home stretch and we have been very busy. So please forgive me for not being able to post my before and after anniversary pics:) I am going to have my husband take a picture tomorrow and try to figure out how to put the pics side by side to post..if anyone knows, let me know! My final year anniversary weigh in this morning was 229.0 even. That is a total year loss of 73lbs! a little less than what I wanted, I wanted at least 80lbs but I will take it:) Oh yea did I say 229??? Why yes I did......I FINALLY lost a couple pounds and got into the 220's. How did I do it? well I joined Weight Watchers online last Sunday. I really had a tough time with making that decision because I felt like I got the band so I wouldnt have to diet anylonger and the fact that I spent so much money on the band out of pocket I was bummed I was turning back to Weight watchers again....BUT even though you have the band you still have to watch what you eat ....or should I say "dieting" is a way of life no matter what your mean is and I was doing something wrong if I wasnt losing weight. I was eating "easy" foods that were higher in calories and fat, I wasnt tracking or watching what I eat and I wasnt following the band rules like I should have been. I was at a stand still for 3months..I didnt lose anything and was beyond frustrated. My sister just had a baby and she joined so thought it would be a good time for me to join too and do it right along side of her. I think its what I needed. I wasnt paying attention to what I was eating as much as I should of and now with tracking using the weight watcher site I really keep an eye on what Im putting in my mouth and tracking my calories ect. I am pretty much able to eat my points everyday so it worked out...and in the first week I lost 2 lbs. Im gonna keep up with it since I think it will help me. I have to keep telling myself that the band will help now in the fact that it wont allow me to over indulge or "pig out" like I used to do, and it will keep me away from things like soda, bread, fast food and some junk food because I just cant eat that stuff now without that stuck feeling. it will also help me from gaining weight at warp speed like I used to. Its hard finding that perfect sweet spot with the band. when I had too much I was miserable and not losing and now I feel like I can eat more again. I go back at the end of September and hopefully if I lose a few more lbs I might losen up a bit to get another fill so that I can eat less again. My next short term goal is hitting the 80lb loss marker. That is 7 more lbs and I think If I stick to both Weight watchers and the band rules I will hit that in a month or month in half. My workouts have been suffering too...with starting this new job I have been working later and its hard to get out of work by 5pm to make my 530 classes. I only got to the gym 1x last week for spin class than I walked for 30 minutes another day. so only 2x total last week. I need to try to fit more exercise in, I dont want to back track after working so hard to get into shape and show some muscle definition. I have my boss's wedding sept 3rd so I want to step it up a notch and try to lose those 7lbs by than. I need goals to look forward to in order to keep me motivated no matter how small they are. So...that is the most up to date info I have. I will get some pics taken tomorrow and post. I am also going to measure cause even thought I have only lost a couple pounds in the past 4 months I am hving more and people, people that see me every day ,say that I am shrinking before their eyes. I even had a guy the other day at work call me the incredible shrinking thought that was pretty funny!! promise pics to come!!!

Monday, July 18, 2011

What a difference a year makes!!

A year ago this week, I was miserable!..I was on our yearly vacation to the Outerbanks, NC with my whole family...I felt like a beached whale, I was lazy, out of shape (big time), never walked the 100 ft to the beach, had a hard time getting out of my lounge chair. I drank mostly sodas and eat like a PIG. What a difference a year makes! I am approaching my year anniversary on the 30th, I just arrived back from our vacation this year...70lbs lighter and in pretty good shape and not a pound gained might I add:). It was a completly different vacation for me this year. I rented a bike and biked along the shore several times, I drank nothing but water or v8 juice, I felt good, looked so much better in a bathing suit and had so much more energy!! I had no problem waking to the beach, hands full of stuff, every day. I felt like I barly eat anything while I was there, we only went out to eat twice and cooked in most of the time. I had a hard time with my eating and gravitated toward easier foods like ice cream. I did manage to lose a couple pounds but over the past couple of days I have gained those back. Iv been making up for my eating. Since I got out the half of a cc a couple weeks ago I can definitly eat more but I feel so much better and have had no issues. I just need to re-group now that vacation is over and get back to the gym and following the band rules. I need to start losing again! Iv been at around 231 for a couple months now. I really need to get down into the 20's enough is enough:). I had a really nice time on vacation and am ready for my year anniversary. I re-read my blog from last year and remembered how crappy I felt this time last year preparing for surgery..I am so glad I dont feel like that anymore and that I made the decision to have surgery. I would have never lost 70lbs in a year without the surgery. I needed to have it. I had lost the momentum to do it all by myself. I had gained too much weight to ever have the stamina to lose it all. I really feel like I took charge of my life. I have going to the gym for 10 months straight now..that is the longest I have EVER stuck with it. I have had my little week breaks here and there but I just have to tell myself its ok occasionally but I cant let it last any longer than that..I dont want to go back to where I was..and even though I have lapband that person can be right around the corner at anytime! I am going to post pictures of me in my bathing suit:) and some side by side pics of me from last year to this year..if I can figure out how to do it:) coming soon!!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Slight Unfill ...

Hey everyone! I went to the doctor yesterday morning and he took out a half of a cc from my band. He thinks I had some irritation from being too tight. The heartburn and bringing up my food at night are signs of irritation. Ya think?..:) He told me only mushies and liquids for a week. I have to admit that I didnt follow that order yesterday and I know I should have but it was my husband and I's anniversary and we already had plans for dinner and a full day out to the the Baltimore Harbor so I did eat a couple wings but for the rest of the day and today of pretty much stuck to mushies. Im going to try and stick to that all week. I leave for vacation next week so Im glad it doesnt impact that. I dont really feel a difference yet but I didnt bring up anyfood while laying down in bed last night like I have been so thats a good sign. I loaded up on buying some soup today and plan on following the doctor's orders. I weighed in at 230.5 so I ended up losing a couple pounds over the past week and half. I am hoping being on mushies and liquids that I will lose another pound or so this week. Im glad I went yesterday and didnt wait until my appt in august. I dont want to cause any issue with my band! I wasnt expecting to be put on mushies all week so that took me by surprise but what he said does make sense. He said that its not unusual to hit a plateau like I did for a couple months. he said to get my band back to working condition and keep the exercise up and it will start to come off agains so I am hoping that is the case! I was down another 16lbs from my March 1st visit, so that averaged out about 4 lbs a month..which isnt as much as Id like but they said Im still losing it the way it should be at almost a year out. they ordered me to get some blood work done to check my vitamin levels so I will be doing that next week! So I will keep you all posted on how things are going!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Weight at a STAND STILL!!

Iv been in the 230's since the first of March, that is over 3 months! Im almost out of them but I have been titter tottering from 233 to 231 and back and forth for over a month now! Im very frustrated why the weight loss is soooo slow and why Iv hit a plateau! I thought sure I would be in the 220's by now. I tried the low carb deal but only last a couple days. its so hard to just eat meat and veggies. Some things Iv tried to do to start losing again is cutting our my morning mocha latte that I got in the habit of drinking. I cant eat in the mornings, im very tight so I got in the habit of drinking protein drinks but than moved to latte to give me some energy. I cut them out and havnt had them for almost 3 weeks. I went back to my normal protein drinks. I picked up activity at the gym since I went from 4x to 2-3 times a week. I picked it back up to 4. Iv been pushing my water intake too BUT STILL NO MORE WEIGHT LOSS! now dont get me wrong, Iv had some ice cream here and there and a candy bar but not alot and Im still eating pretty small portions. I dont think I need a fill because I was having that bad heartburn and getting a few stuck episodes and I dont feel like I need a fill but I really dont understand why the weight loss has just stopped! I mean being banded and losing not even 10lbs in 3 months is not good progress. I know Iv lost 70lbs since in 11 months and I am proud of that but still want to keep seeing the scale moving down not staying steady for that long. 3 months is a long plateau! Since I did reach my 70lb Weight loss goal I went and got a new tattoo on my left shoulder...its a crucifix and its really cool. I got it last night and its a sign of who has given me the strength to do so many things and be successful in doing so. I truly believe he has blessed me. Now if he would just bless me with a 20 more lb weight loss I would really be happy:)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

70lbs Gone---but boy I got some heartburn!!

Sorry I havn't posted in a while! things have been pretty crazy for me,I am in the process of building a new home and been focused on that. Well from the subject line you can see I hit the 70lb marker!! Its been really hard to lose this past 10lbs!! It feels likes its taken me forever, I keep hitting platueus where i stay the same for weeks and sometimes months than I might drop a couple pounds..its very frustrating. I started low carbing this week and completly staying away from anything but protein and veggies thinking that may help me. I had a fill appointment scheduled last week but I cancelled it. I didnt go because I feel like most days I am at my sweet spot or very close to it, I also had a pretty bad stuck episode last week, completely my fault, I was eating chicken wings like I never knew what band since my last fill in March I have been getting alot of heartburn. At first it was just occasionlly when I eat something too quick or eat too much or something spicy but now Im getting it alot more. Mostly when I eat really dense foods like meat (which Im eating alot of lately) or when I eat too much or too fast. Its really uncomfortable. I have to take zantac 1-2x per day and tums have become my best friend. I know they say that if you get heartburn that you may be too tight..I really dont feel TOO Im not sure...I posted on lapband talk today to see if anyone had any suggestions..most people said I should get an unfill but I really dont want to. If I wasnt able to eat that is one thing but I dont want to get any out!! Im self pay that is 300bucks gone, once for the fill before and than another 300 to take it out! I think Im gonna just try to focus on what I eat, eat slow and not to much for a while and see if that helps. I have an appointment aug. 2nd which is right around my 1 year band anniversary so I want to just wait until than. Now if things get crazy and i cant take the heartburn anymore I will call. Iv had no issues before so I cant really believe Im one poster told me. that freaked me out! My close friend and band buddy just had her band slip and was in the hospital so sick last weekend. They had to operate on her and fix it immediatly. She has had alot of problems though since getting the band 2.5 yrs ago. she was over filled 2x to the point that she couldnt even drink, she would spit up food like a week or more after eating it..I mean crazy stuff that I never had to deal with. her food just sits on her band forever. She had all of her fluid taken out and now she can't even get a fill for 6 months. She was self pay too. She is still feeling pretty sick. Its scary to hear the horror stories and thats why i try to be careful and not get greedy with the band, which is why I cancelled my appointment last week. All and All I am happy with my progress. 70lbs in 10 months. My doctor's goal was to be at 215-220 by my one year anniversary. I am at 232lbs now. Not sure with the slow rate Im going now will I get there its only 12lbs but it takes me a couple months to lose that personal goal was 100lbs in a year but Im not too upset about that considering I am already worried about how my skin and body is handling the quick weight loss so don't want to rush it. Im still tackling the gym, Iv cut back some which is another reason i think Im not losing as fast...I was going 4-5x a week, now I am going about 3x a week. For me, working out made the difference in my weight loss but its so hard to stick with 5x a week. I get burned out quick but I wont let myself stop it! I really can see the definition in my legs and arms and I feel so much stronger now. For example, I have a pretty big truck, its a Toyota Sequoia...I can actually have both hands full with bags, toys, whatever, step up on one foot to the truck runner and get in the truck using NO HANDS AND ONE might be hard to picture but when I did that the other day, I was like there is NO WAY in hell I could of done that last year at this time!! my legs felt so strong and I didnt even have to balance myself!, things are going good and I will try to update you again soon, especially on my heartburn and low carb I just started. Thanks for reading!!!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

HELLO 230'S!!!

Oh how I missed you...its been forever since Iv seen you:) Well I hit the 230's:) Happy April to me! 238.5 to be exact. Since my fill on March 1st, Iv lost 7.5 lbs. Thats almost 8 pounds in a month which is more than where I wanted to be, thats the most Iv lost in a month since the first couple of months after surgery. I had my most recent goal of 235 set for Memorial weekend so I may have to change that up a little:) Things have been going pretty well since I last wrote. obviously the weight is coming off a little quicker this month, I credit that to my continuing to work out, picking up the new RPM class and the fact that my fill has me pretty much at my sweet spot. I cannot eat much at all at a more than about a cup of food. sometimes a little more depending on what it is. Meat is definitly harder for me, pills are hard for me too now as you all know from my last post. breads still are very tough and I usually just stay away from them, but I did have a couple cupcakes last week that I had leftover from my sister's baby shower. they actually didn't go down too bad but I took it very slow, they were so damn good!!! but I had some carrots I feel like I can finally visualize being at a low number on the scale least to if I get lower than that I will be SUPER EXCITED because like Iv told you all a hundred times I have not seen below that in at least 10 years, maybe more. I have lost a total of 64.5 lbs since surgery on July 30th. that is such a big number when i stop and think about it but 70 sounds so much better:) the weird thing is, I see people on shows or online who have lost 60lbs and they look soooo much smaller than they did before I mean more than i do, i know there is a big difference in me but you would think after losing so much weight I would look so much more thin...I havnt measured myself this month yet so I will do that this weekend I just wonder if when I was 240 years ago if I look smaller now since iv been working out and doing weights..I wasnt doing that when I weighed 240 before. I wish I had old measurments to compare to. I wanted to let you all know that I hit the next decade...Iv been through 6 decades in 8 months..woot woot!!

Saturday, March 19, 2011


60lbs down!!!

Holy Crap! I did it! I hit the 60lb marker this week! I weighed in at 240.5! for a total weight loss of 62lbs!!! Im so excited ..cant ya tell?? hit the gym pretty hard the past couple of weeks and like I told you in my previous post I started a spin class at the gym and I really think with that along with feeling like Im at my sweet spot made it happen. Since my fill a couple weeks ago Iv lost almost really came off quick. I just keep lookin forward now and cant wait to be in the 230's! I am literally gonna crap my pants when I see that scale in the teens! Its been years since Iv been down to that...2004 to be exact. Before I got married and before I had a kid! This was really a great ending to my crappy week..I lost my wedding band last weekend:( I hardly ever wear that or my engagment ring anymore since they are both too big but I wore my wedding band one day to get a spray tan and left the ring in the room..I never even realized it was gone until a few days letter and remembered that I had left it there.. I immediatly called the tanning salon and it was no where to be found. I feel pretty sure someone took it and didnt turn it in but I still searched and searched for it..even crawling around the floor the room I was in. I was so bummed!!! I am a big sentimental person and that ring meant alot to me as all you married people know. I cried for 2 days thinking about it...but I accepted the fact that It probably would never get it back but was thankful I still had my engagment ring. My husband surprised me yesterday though and had gotten me another one and even a better one:) AND to top it off my ring size went down 2 whole sizes when I got measured to get the ring sized! Bitter sweet:) Lets see what other NSV's did I have? Well my husband bought a motorcyle in the fall and I swore I wouldn't ride it till I loset 50lbs..I didnt want to feel like this huge blob on the back..well we rode yesterday all day and it felt great...I could get on and off without any problems..even lifting my leg the whole way over the back seat rest..I had bought a new, cute jacket and helmet with little rhinestones stars all over will post some pics:) Anyway..Im feeling pretty good......Only negative so far is that I did have a PB episode today. Im not sure what happened but I think it was a prescription motrin I took..I have a hard time with horse pills now...I took it and it seem to go down ok but than I drank some protein shake and I was immediatly stuck...pretty bad too...I felt like I couldnt even catch my breath..I was driving on the highway and had to pull off and and bring it up...immediate relief but I hate when that happens!! My mom was with me too and the first time she really saw me like that or see how the band can affect she thought it was just awful that it can cause me to be sick..I explained to her its only the 3rd time its happened to me but she was like that cannot be good for you and how can you deal with that..blah blah..she was just concerned but I tried to explain things to her and how it all works....Im sure my whole family will know by Monday and my sisters will be calling me thinking that I am doing things I shouldnt be doing. Hopefully the weight loss keeps coming!!! I will keep you posted!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

So glad I got Lapband!

Hey all! Time flies! I realized its been a several days since I posted....Well since my last fill Iv been doing good.. I started back on solid foods on day 2 after my fill and I am still having more stuck episodes than I ever have and it does get pretty annoying at times cause I just want to eat sometimes without worrying about eating so slow and with such small bites. Now most breads, french fries and some meat are almost impossible for me to eat. Actually alot of things get stuck now more easy...I havnt had any sick episodes since this fill but I have been trying to be careful not to over do it. I do know most of the time its self induced with this fill I REALLY have to eat very slow and small bites and that is pretty hard to do ALL the time...especially when your starving. I do still sometims lean toward foods that go down without a problem and usually they are bad for you foods but like I said, now I could get stuck on pretty much anything but soup right now if I am not being carful. I picked up RPM (spinning) class at the gym and LOVE IT! I never thought Id say that about exercise! but I really do...I work out so hard in that class and its pretty intense...I sweat a ton but always feel good after taking it. The gym has become my outlet and my hobby. I had a tough couple weeks where I was feeling sorry for myself and tired of going and working out but that passed and I just am so happy that I started and stuck with the gym for almost 7months now! And I am so happy that I got lapband, overall its worked really well for me and I would have NEVER lost almost 60lbs without it. Its been so much more work than I ever expected but I have no regrets, even if Im paying that 15 grand off for the next 4 years:) I just hope that I can lose another 60!! Of course im never satisifed with how my body looks but I can see major difference, especially in my legs. I am up to taking body pump, which is a weight class 2x a week and cardio class be it spin or body combat 2x a week. Some weeks I go a day more and some weeks a day less but If I do at least 4x a week the weight continues to come off. As soon as I let off the working out and eat junk I move up a pound or 2. Saturday is my wiegh in and I am at 243.5 for a total weight loss of 59.5 lbs:) the 230's are right around the corner and I am only a pound away from losing 60lbs!! That really is exciting for me when I stop and think about it. I can honestly say that I feel really proud of myself and that I have accomplished this. This is the first time I really have felt that since getting surgery. My husband has been so supportive and not complaining (like he did at first) that I am spending more time at the gym..he did bring home some donuts last week AND I came home to fried chicken another I forgave him cause I can't expect him an my son to never eat things I can't right??

I am also getting so many compliments at work too...I actually had a guy stop me in the hall and say..are you losing weight?? I said yes I am and he said "you look skinny" Me skinny?? of course I couldnt just say thank you and leave it so I said skinny? i dont think so but thanks for noticing. LOL...Im certaintly not skinny but the fact he stopped me to say that especially a guy, and we know how guys dont normally notice change like that.. those compliments keep me motivated and make me so happy I made it to this point and down over 50lbs and not back just starting...Its easier to keep going when you see, feel and hear the results every day! I am in my happy place right now and I hope it continues..Im trying to keep myself surrounded by people who care about me and my journey and support me no matter what...:) I will keep you posted especially when I hit the 60lb marker and am in the 230's!!!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Another CC!

I had my fill appointment today. The doctor put in another cc to bring me up to 9cc 's total. Its been a little over 6 weeks since my last fill on Jan. 11th. I lost 5.5lbs since Jan 11th and now Im at a total of 56lbs and today was my 7 month bandiversary!! I was actually surprised I managed to pull off 5lbs considering Iv been frustrated with my weight loss in the past month. Iv been really hitting the gym this week though. Started spin & RPM class at the gym. Im being told that will really LEAN me out and I think my body needed "shocked" a little and I needed to change up my normal gym routine. Im actually pretty happy with my appointment today. Iv been on liquids only today so not sure how this fill will feel but I do feel a little different in my chest just drinking ...I hope that is just from the swelling from the fill and not a warning that this might be too much. Iv felt really motivated this week I think because Im starting to realize that summer is right around the corner and I really want to hit that 100lb marker for my 1 year anniversary..not sure if that is realistic considering its only 5 months away but I think I can at least get in another 30lbs if I work hard. I cannot believe I am 4 lbs away from losing 60lbs!! CRAZY!!! and I cant believe Its been 7 months since I had this surgery! time truly does fly! My body is coming together ok, still a little nervous about my stomach area...still have some hanging on my bottom stomach but I am really just hoping that it all comes together as I lose weight and tone up..but dont have a good feeling about it..I may see a tummy tuck in my inner thighs still could use some work but Iv lost so much in my legs, hips and butt is pretty much gone...much to my husbands disappointment:( but I still have that damn meaty stomach!! all and all I feel pretty know how it is, it never is enough you always want more..more weight loss, better figure, flatter stomach...Im not sure if I even lost 100lbs if I will be happy with the way I look...really is sad when you think about it*sigh* I do get alot of compliments and people really notice my weight loss now. Im just gonna keep at this and continue to take it day by day:)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Hey everyone...sorry I havn't posted in a while..I just really havnt had any great news or new info and been kinda busy. I basically have been just chuggin along...Havn't really lost anymore weight..I have managed to stay in the 240's this past week but the scale is teetering between 245 changes weekly. Iv beeen having a tough time trying to figure out if I should get another fill or not. I moved my appointment up to March 1st about 4 weeks sooner than scheduled because I am having such a hard time losing weight now. I can tell I am at my 6 month marker because just like when I dieted pre-band I am starting to struggle mentally and strugglin with getting to the gym. I just dont feel like going..I am making myself go still but I find that I start skipping here and there plus I am not sticking to my eating and the band rules in the past couple weeks. I still can eat a good bit of food about 2 cups at a meal. I am still getting stuck and find myself leaning toward "easier" foods because im tired of that feeling. I actually got pretty sick tonight and vomited for the 2nd time since having surgery. this was pretty bad though not like the first time. I didnt think I was going to stop...very weird. I am pretty sure its because I was eating too fast and eating more than I should. I am still learning how to eat and you would think after 6 months I would begin to have this down..but its a constant battle with my mind and my old habits, habits I just can't seem to break.....the fast eating, big bites...eating crap I shouldnt...eating after Im full...UGH!! I realize now more than ever that this is such a mind thing for me and that even having the surgery doesnt change who I am and how I deal with food!! I know I won't quit or give up but its such a an up and down ride! one week Im on point and the next Im hitting a downward spriral! I am going to talk to the dr. on Monday and hopefully he can help make the decision if he feels I need a fill or if I just need to change my habits and get back in the game! I will keep you all posted!!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Fill Please!!

I sucked it up and called my doctor today to move my fill up...I have lost NO weight since my fill on Jan 11th. I am holding steady at 250...I have been teeter tottering to 249 and back for 3 weeks now , my short lived 240 excitement was just that...short lived. My appetite is increasing and I can eat a larger portion size now before I even begin to fill full. I dont even feel like I had another fill last month! I still am having stuck episodes though with wings, chips and even on salmon. I have to admit I have not been eating as great since the week I was sick but you would think with the band you dont have to be sooo anal every day all the time!! I do find myself leaning toward easier foods like mashed potatoes and is frustrating to me..I find that if I dont hit the gym at least 3x per week and watch what I eat everyday, I dont lose anything....I could accept that when I dieted but with the band I thought it would do I say it? EASIER!!! I know that I probably wouldnt of lost 50lbs without it especially this fast but when you are on the low end of the process its hard to think of the good stuff. I want to lose so much more weight and of course I want it like yesterday! but by june would work:)..Is that too much to ask?...I hate the idea that I have hit a stand still for a month now...that is such wasted time in my eyes...that could be another 8lbs! At my last visit the doctor said he didnt want to see me back for 3 months...that put me at April 19th. There is no way in hell I am gonna wait that long for another fill...when I called I was lucky that they got me in March 1st. I just want to get to my sweet spot where I really am full after half of a cup. right now Im still almost 2 cups until I feel full and satisfied. I figure worse case I have to just struggle through and try to do my best for another 3 weeks, it sure is better than 2.5 months! I alreay have 8cc's in the band and it only goes up to 11..Im a little nervous that Im so close and only 6 months out! Oh yea..speaking of 6 months..I completly forgot to recongnize my 6 monh bandiversary! Happy friggin anniversary to me!!! lol...I would of preferred to bring it in another 10lbs down but I guess I cant have it all!!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Sick does not equal zero appetite!

Been sick all week with strep throat and a sinus infection....started Monday and I am just now starting to feel better. Yet another week set back for my weight loss! I am not one of those lucky people who lose their appetite when sick...I ended up working from home wed & thursday. Alone all day with my kitchen is not a good thing. I grazed all day like a cow in a big, green pasture. when I am sick I eat...I crave comfort food and sweets..not even a throat on fire kept me from eating. I was too sick to get to the gym as well so this whole week went to hell in a hand basket!! Im so glad Im starting to feel better today..Im giving myself one more day of rest than Im hitting the gym again. I havnt weighed myself so I am hoping I didnt gain anything this week! Its weird but I hate wasting time...every day is a day I could be losing more weight and getting my body in better shape..a week "off" is a huge set back and when you have had a few of them it really adds up...I hate taking a month to lose a couple pounds and Im scared the weight loss is really going to start slowing down now. I am finding myself leaning toward "easy" food or some call them sliders. ..when I eat "healthy" foods like salad or chicken breasts I have a much harder time eating them and they go down hard and I start getting a stuck feeling but I can woof down chocolate cookies back to back and no issues at all! Sometimes I just get tired of being so careful eating and having to eat so slow and small bites that I just want to be able to eat "normal" again...I guess I kinda miss it and miss the way I used to be able to eat. No regrets just miss it sometimes:)

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Slipped up in more ways than one!!

Had my weekly weigh in this morning and I am back up to 251! I barly got to enjoy the 240's Im not sure what happened, if its my period or just the fact that I didnt eat well this week. It might be a combination of both. It was not a good week..I craved sweets and junk food. I didnt go completely crazy but I did have a chic Filet milkshake not once by twice..they are so friggin good! and I just overall didnt eat very healthy..I have pretty good restriction but I can "eat around" that..I found myself grazing more this week and eating bigger portion sizes. I did still go to the gym and worked out pretty hard earlier in the week but really slacked off at the end of the week. I was a little upset after weighing in this morning but I figured it was my fault so I needed to buck up and not feel sorry for myself and just do better. To cheer myself up I went to do a little shopping today..I had a coupon at old navy and a gift card..I racked up in there! they had a huge clearance section and I bought a ton of spring tops and tee's. I also bought my pregnant sister some maternity stuff and my husband a few things..I spent less than a hundred and brought home 3 huge bags full of clothes. Before surgery I couldnt even get into their size 20 jeans and I was wearing their XXL tops. Today I simply got all XL tops and a couple Large and was able to fit into size 16 jeans!! I didn't buy any but I tried several on. The size 18's that I bought a few months ago are getting too big now and I have to wear a belt with them. I decided to wait a little longer to buy more jeans since I can techincally still wear the 18's. That did make me feel better but I am still upset when I don't do well and stray off the lapband path. I really want to lose another 20-30 lbs my summer and I can't afford a bad week if I want to hit that goal. Im definitly hitting the gym tomorrow and gonna go to the grocery store and get lots of healthy dinner and lunch food. I find that the more i eat out at work and not pack is when I stray the most and get the most tempted. I do have a funny picture this..Im in the mall and Iv got these 3 big shopping bags full of clothes...another store bag and my literally strugglin to hold it all as Im walking back to the door to the parking lot...I am wearing these flat ankle high boots with skinny jeans (yes, skinny jeans, whod a thunk?) and all the sudden my boot slips on the floor and i hit the ground...2 of my big bags bust and clothes go everywhere...there I am laying on the floor in the middle of the mall with clothes just everywhere around me!!!..LMAO...I could not even bare to look up..I quickly gathered the clothes up and stuffed them into the other bags, picked my butt off the floor and hauled ass to the door...I have never been so embarrassed in my life!! after I got out the mall I could breath again but than I thought...not one damn person even helped me or asked if I was ok or anything!! If I saw a woman do that I wouldnt of ran up and helped her gather her things at the very least! Needless to say my shopping trip was officially took that as a sign to stop while I was ahead. So hopefully next week I can say that I am back in the 240's again...I sure am gonna try my best!!

Saturday, January 15, 2011


Its been 5 days since my fill...I did my normal Saturday weigh in and to my surprise I weighed in at 248!! Im finally back in the 240's!! in my 20's the highest weight I would get to is 242 before I would start bustin butt and lose weight. The 240's is familiar ground to me..if that makes sense. I remember when I first got banded that getting back down to 240 felt like it was soooo far away but Im here now! I ALMOST feel like I can exhale now...I know I wrote this before but on the way up the scale from 245-300 over the past couple of years I never saw the 250's, 260's, or 270's its like i jumped from 245 to 280 overnight...even though it was 2 years. I was so engrossed in becoming a new mother, my son was so demanding, I was working full time and still trying to be there emotionally and mentally for my husband extended family that I didn't pay any attention to me and taking care of my needs or my body for that matter. I am hoping that 4 months from now Im saying the same thing about the 220's!! Its hard to believe that I actually could possibly get to 200lbs or less!! I have not seen 200lbs since I was 22 yrs old! and I havn't seen below 200 since maybe 9th grade! I never thought I would say this but I really missed you 240!!!!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Another NSV!! Actually a couple...

I cannot recall for the life of me what NSV stands I know what it means and I had another one today....several month ago after I lost my 1st 20lb I went shopping with a girlfriend of mine to Lane Bryant just to use a coupon I had. I was looking in the clearance section and there was a pair of pants I loved but they were a size 14 (a big size 14) they were a casual somwhat stretchy waiste ( with a button) pants. really cute...its was the only pair they had and they were only like 5 bucks...I took them into the dressing room and I could get the up but not even close to buttoning...I had at least 4-6 inches maybe more...but I went ahead and bought them anyway cause I figured I would eventually get into them...well tonight, after the gym, I was diggin in my closet and find the pants still in the bag...I slipped them on and .......Im sure you know what is coming next...they fit..I could button them with no problem ...I dont think Im a size 14 yet, probably a 16 now since my size 18 pants are getting big but I was like WOW these freakers actually fit!! I had a really good workout at the gym too...sweated my butt off . The class room has mirrors all around side to side front to back you cant avoid seeing yourself..normally I just dont sometims I catch myself and think omg look at my sagging gut..will it ever be small??.but sometimes like tonight I look and really can see the change finally..I look slimmer not skinny but definitly slimmer. and I am so glad...when I first started I would catch myself in that mirror and get soooo disgusted! ok AND one more NSV (whatever it means) I change into my gym clothes at work before I head out to the gym...when I first started doing that I usually struggled to get my socks on, shoes on and all that jazz..and would have to it on the toilet and still struggle to get them I realized I can easily lift my foot up...still standing mind you...hold it up while I put my sock on, same with my shoes..I wasnt out of breath or was just so simple and I barly noticed. I dont know when I started doing that! I dont know if 50lbs is the magic number or what but its seems like it is just coming together...all the sudden people are noticing, Im noticing...and things are just starting to change! I cant imagine what will happen whenI lose 100lbs! As far as my fill you know I had it on Tuesday...I just really started eating solids today...I had a protein drink for breakfast because I had morning meetings and no time to eat....for lunch I eat 1 and half beef fajitas and was very full and had no problems with getting stuck and it went down easy than tonight my husband made grilled shrimp on top of a spinach looked so good...but I took a bite of a shrimp and it got stuck...wasnt a bad stuck but I knew I couldnt keep eating..I waited for about 5 minutes and it finally passed I tried to eat some more and I mean I literally have to cut it up very small and chew chew chew...if I take one slightly larger bite I feel like im getting stuck again...Im so hungry and just want to eat but for some reason the band is not liking this salad or this rate it would take me 2 hrs to eat this salad!! I really wanted to write about the success I was seeing so hopefully I helped someone today that read this!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Will I ever get to the half cup??

I survived the 2 days of liquids (ok technically a day and half) and Im currently in the process of SLOWLY eating a boneless chicken breast and about a quarter cup of greenbeans....I managed to eat well over half of the chicken and all of my green beans. Im content, slightly full but not stuffed. I keep thinking I can still eat more than the 1/2 cup "rule". I guess I was expecting or hoping that I would be stuffed after a few bites of chicken. I have such high expectations now that Im getting up there in total CC's. I have 8 now in my 11cc band. Maybe I won't ever be that half of cup person with my band. Im sitting here thinking and trying to FEEL how full I am..did I eat past my my full spot? could I eat more ? I feel content, I could eat more but don't really want to. I probably eat a little over a cup of food. Ok Im beating a dead horse on this...long story of today I can eat more than the recommended half cup!! On a more positive tip, Iv been getting a ton of compliments at work, people are coming up to me asking how I am losing so much weight, asking what Im doing and telling me how good I am really does make me feel good but puts me in an unexpected awkward situation..I feel like Im lieing if I say working out and eating right...even though I am doing that...if someone happens to be with me that knows I had the surgery I feel very uncomfortable lieing in front of them when they know the I tell them I had the surgery?? but I dont want to make it sound like its all just the surgery..Im working my butt off with this..would I of been able to lose this much weight without the band? Probably not but if I shoot out I had lapband than I feel like Im doing myself an injustice but if I don't tell them I feel like Im lieing and perpetrating!! what a dilemma....I really dont know how to handle this..I never put too much thought in it before but now that Im getting several people asking me about it I gotta figure out how to handle it! I dont mind people knowing that I had the surgery..if I can help someone or inspire someone Im all for it...but Im not sure if I want EVERYONE that asks me to know....I kinda want to sometimes take ALL the credit...dont I deserve it? *sigh* I do enjoy the attention though...I still look in the mirror and see such a heavy person still so when outside people notice and say something I know that all that hard work is finally noticeable. Its what I need to keep going. I plan on measuring myself this weekend so I will make sure to post the inches lost too! Im slowly making my started my crest whitening strips last week and even though my bottom teeth kill me everynight aching and so senstive Im not stopping...I want the most pearly whites I can on my list is to get some more highlights in my hair another shopping trip in March and than I am going to start tanning in April. I love when I tan..but i know its so bad for the skin. I havnt tanned in a tanning bed since last spring and I try to give my skin a break but Fat looks so much better least that used to be my saying!...Im going to hold off as long as I can though and I am going to hit a dermatologist first for a complete skin check prior to starting... satisifed now all you anti-tanning people?? if I could just get down to that new goal of 210 by Aug. 1st I think I will be good to go!! than what?? I guess stare at myself all day in the mirror...LOL

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

4th fill today!

Hello out there!! Today was a good day..had my doctor's appointment for my 4th fill! I weighed in at 251lbs with my 1.5lb of clothes (yes I weighed them before I put them I took off my shoes & all my Jewlery as well...I learned that from my weight watcher days:). Since my last appointment and fill 6 weeks ago, I lost 8.5lbs for a total loss of 51lbs. The doctor said I was doing great and right on track. We talked about my stuck episodes in the past 6 weeks and how much Im still able to eat. I didnt mention the stuck episode I had an hour before my appointment where I decided to woof down a piece of turkey sausage and was in pain for 15 minutes...I am sill learninng this eat slow, small bite thing...not sure if I will ever get it! fortunatly, I didnt have to bring it back up and it made its way down..I actually felt it drop down through the band..very weird!! We decided to put in 1 more cc to put me at a total of 8 in my 11cc band. the fill was uneventful but he take longer than usual to find the center in order to add the liquid. My doctor said he wanted to see me at 210 by my 1 yr anniversary which is by Aug. 1st. I think I can do that..Id love to beat that but we will see. He also said I wouldnt have to come back for at least 3 months. Good for my bank account cause these visits cost me $250 plus the $50 I spent on protein drinks! He has me on liquids today and mushies tomorrow. I cant believe I did that for 2 weeks after I got surgery..I am so damn hungry right now...Iv eat soup, 2 protein shakes and 2 cups of mashed potatoes today and Im still starving! I cant wait to see what this fill will do ..I dont feel anything different as of right now but I guess I wont if Im just drinking and eating sliding mushies. I sure hope I have great resstriction and it lasts longer this time! I went to the gym tonight so still taking my classes...I even tackled the 3 inches of snow and slippery order to get there...was very proud of myself...even though there was only about 5 people in my class will keep you all posted on how this fill goes!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Before & After..AFTER 50lbs down! 5mnths later

Dec 17th 2010 50lbs down face shot

This is me last month (December 17th) and about 5 months out. I am down first big goal obtained!

Pics-Before & After...below is before...

Oh good Lord! hard to look at to be honest...this is me the day before my surgery. I weighed in at 302lbs.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone!! I cannot believe I have had the band for 5 months! I have not been back to the gym since vacation and really have not been doing a good job with my eating either during this time but somehow I managed to lose another 2lbs. Im down to 252.5...only .5lbs away from my first big goal of 50lbs lost!! Im back in the gym starting this week so I know I will be down my 50 by my Jan 11 th fill. The good thing is that at least the band has helped me maintain my weight even when I dont hit the gym or eat the best. before the band I would of been pigging out this time of year and gained 5-10 lbs in these 3 weeks!! something happened today and I did something I may not have done 5 mnth ago I wanted to share...I went to a New Years day breakfast with my husband and son this morning. when I walked into the restaurant right in front of me paying was an X boyfriend of mine. I dated this guy for a couple years right before I met my husband. He was such a good looking guy and when I met him I was in my 20's and had a pretty good build I weighed about 215-220 while I was with him. I havnt seen him since we broke up so its been like 6 yrs. anyway, before surgery I would of hauled ass the other way if I saw him cause I wouldnt want him or any of my ex's to see me at 280 plus pounds...but today, even though I had no makeup on and a jogging suit walked straight up to his attention, said hi and gave him a hug..I didnt even hesitate to do this. thats all it was...short & sweet but after it happened I was thinking about our relationship and how I was soooo into this guy but he really didnt offer me anything..nothing like my husband..and I thought why did I even stay with him for 4 yrs??? I honestly think that I had little self confidence in my 20's even though my body was much better..its really crzy what weight issues can impact on the things you do and how you feel. I think because he was so good looking that I just wanted to show that I could get this really hot guy and felt like I had to keep him. Ok, enough of Dr. was just sorda amazed how even though I didnt look my best physically that I didnt run & hide that shows me alot and how much losing 50lbs has done for me. Part of me is excited about starting a new Year especially since I am on this exciting weight loss journey but in a way Im a little depressed..sad the holidays are over, sad my vacation is over and that I really dont have anything to look forward to other than my weight loss. I am going to focus on getting to the gym and losing another 50lbs by summer!! I will make that my new goal and my new exciting "thing" to look forward too! Hope all of you had a great holiday and have a great new year!