Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Not sure what to think...

So, I got my fill yesterday....Dr. Small had a hard time finding the hole in my port for some reason and ended up poking with the needle and pushing my stomach around for 15-20 minutes as I flinched in discomfort and prayed for him to find it!! That was so uncomfortable and a little painful. I am so sore today! He couldnt figure out why it took him so long since when I got my de-fill after surgery he went right in without an issue. Im glad its over and have 6 weeks till I have to do it all over again!! Anyway, after finally getting in..he withdrew 1 cc, I guess I still had some in there from the surgery and after the defill??? than put in a total of 4cc's. I was nervous about that but to be honest I barly feel the difference and Im really worried and bummed about it today:( I was just hoping so bad that I would get this fill and be losing weight left and right but so far since last night Iv ate, tomato soup, 2 chicken fingers, a weight watcher frozen breakfast and a 1/2 cup of chicken salad with 6 pretzel thins and none of that has bothered me. I THINK i have a little more restriction because after i ate about a cup of the frozen breakfast I was full. I just ate the chicken salad and feel full too. not stuffed just content. I guess I was thinking Id get "stuck" or that I would only be able to eat a few spoonfulls and be full, I hear it can take a day or 2 to really feel the impact of the fill so I hope that is true. I am hungry though about 2 hours after eating. I wait till my stomach growls to eat more. I guess overall Im a little disappointed but I need to give it another day or 2 to see how I feel. I scheduled my 2nd fill for Oct. 19th so worse case scenario I have to wait untill than and continue to "diet" until I get restriction. I dont want to feel bad with a fill so I should probably be grateful that i feel so good but I just want to lose weight and lose it fast...its just my whole want it now mentality!! Im just so tired of thinking about food ...I did that before the band and Im even worse now..I just wish I could forget about food, about hunger about all that and just live, its crazy how when you have food issues how much you think about food. I cant let myself get down about anything cause I put so much money and effort in this so far and I wont give up but just wishing the weight would fall off quicker and this would be a quicker process than it really is. I didn't really know what to expect coming into this, I read alot but you really have to live the experience..and EVERYONE is so different from the pain at surgery to the fills to what you can and cant eat..its crazy how different everyone is. I have a friend at work who had it done and she is miserable after every fill from her first fill on until things "settle" and she has never, since surgery been able to eat bread or chicken or really any meat but Iv been able to eat all that so far. She pukes and gets sick alot and has such bad constipation problems. Im glad Im not like her though..I have another friend who had this done and she has been smooth sailing since her surgery in April and has lost 60lbs!!! She exercises all the time though but her last fill a couple weeks ago she got over filled and has been living with the discomfort in order to lose weight. I dont want to have to do that though but I could see why she would tough it just want to lose weight so bad and when you start losing it you just want more and more and faster and faster! So, I have lost a total of 26.5lbs according to the dr. 10lbs since my last visit a week after surgery, so that is 10lbs in about 4.5 weeks...which to me is a whole month and not that much..I lost more than that on Weight Watchers in one when I hear that number I get a little bummed out cause I was thinking Id lose like 15-20lbs in a month. time is flying and its already been 6 weeks since surgery, so I keep thinking to myself I need to try and relax and just continue to take it day by day. My husband is switching gym's this week and I am going to start going with him to Gold's gym. I think once I start doing more cardio and working up a sweat that I will lose more, just walking isnt cutting it for me unless I do 2 miles everyday and I cant seem to get that in! I need to post some pictures on here too.. so will start taking some so you guys can see my progress!!

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