Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Hey everyone...sorry I havn't posted in a while..I just really havnt had any great news or new info and been kinda busy. I basically have been just chuggin along...Havn't really lost anymore weight..I have managed to stay in the 240's this past week but the scale is teetering between 245 changes weekly. Iv beeen having a tough time trying to figure out if I should get another fill or not. I moved my appointment up to March 1st about 4 weeks sooner than scheduled because I am having such a hard time losing weight now. I can tell I am at my 6 month marker because just like when I dieted pre-band I am starting to struggle mentally and strugglin with getting to the gym. I just dont feel like going..I am making myself go still but I find that I start skipping here and there plus I am not sticking to my eating and the band rules in the past couple weeks. I still can eat a good bit of food about 2 cups at a meal. I am still getting stuck and find myself leaning toward "easier" foods because im tired of that feeling. I actually got pretty sick tonight and vomited for the 2nd time since having surgery. this was pretty bad though not like the first time. I didnt think I was going to stop...very weird. I am pretty sure its because I was eating too fast and eating more than I should. I am still learning how to eat and you would think after 6 months I would begin to have this down..but its a constant battle with my mind and my old habits, habits I just can't seem to break.....the fast eating, big bites...eating crap I shouldnt...eating after Im full...UGH!! I realize now more than ever that this is such a mind thing for me and that even having the surgery doesnt change who I am and how I deal with food!! I know I won't quit or give up but its such a an up and down ride! one week Im on point and the next Im hitting a downward spriral! I am going to talk to the dr. on Monday and hopefully he can help make the decision if he feels I need a fill or if I just need to change my habits and get back in the game! I will keep you all posted!!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Fill Please!!

I sucked it up and called my doctor today to move my fill up...I have lost NO weight since my fill on Jan 11th. I am holding steady at 250...I have been teeter tottering to 249 and back for 3 weeks now , my short lived 240 excitement was just that...short lived. My appetite is increasing and I can eat a larger portion size now before I even begin to fill full. I dont even feel like I had another fill last month! I still am having stuck episodes though with wings, chips and even on salmon. I have to admit I have not been eating as great since the week I was sick but you would think with the band you dont have to be sooo anal every day all the time!! I do find myself leaning toward easier foods like mashed potatoes and is frustrating to me..I find that if I dont hit the gym at least 3x per week and watch what I eat everyday, I dont lose anything....I could accept that when I dieted but with the band I thought it would do I say it? EASIER!!! I know that I probably wouldnt of lost 50lbs without it especially this fast but when you are on the low end of the process its hard to think of the good stuff. I want to lose so much more weight and of course I want it like yesterday! but by june would work:)..Is that too much to ask?...I hate the idea that I have hit a stand still for a month now...that is such wasted time in my eyes...that could be another 8lbs! At my last visit the doctor said he didnt want to see me back for 3 months...that put me at April 19th. There is no way in hell I am gonna wait that long for another fill...when I called I was lucky that they got me in March 1st. I just want to get to my sweet spot where I really am full after half of a cup. right now Im still almost 2 cups until I feel full and satisfied. I figure worse case I have to just struggle through and try to do my best for another 3 weeks, it sure is better than 2.5 months! I alreay have 8cc's in the band and it only goes up to 11..Im a little nervous that Im so close and only 6 months out! Oh yea..speaking of 6 months..I completly forgot to recongnize my 6 monh bandiversary! Happy friggin anniversary to me!!! lol...I would of preferred to bring it in another 10lbs down but I guess I cant have it all!!