Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Will I ever get to the half cup??

I survived the 2 days of liquids (ok technically a day and half) and Im currently in the process of SLOWLY eating a boneless chicken breast and about a quarter cup of greenbeans....I managed to eat well over half of the chicken and all of my green beans. Im content, slightly full but not stuffed. I keep thinking I can still eat more than the 1/2 cup "rule". I guess I was expecting or hoping that I would be stuffed after a few bites of chicken. I have such high expectations now that Im getting up there in total CC's. I have 8 now in my 11cc band. Maybe I won't ever be that half of cup person with my band. Im sitting here thinking and trying to FEEL how full I am..did I eat past my my full spot? could I eat more ? I feel content, I could eat more but don't really want to. I probably eat a little over a cup of food. Ok Im beating a dead horse on this...long story of today I can eat more than the recommended half cup!! On a more positive tip, Iv been getting a ton of compliments at work, people are coming up to me asking how I am losing so much weight, asking what Im doing and telling me how good I am really does make me feel good but puts me in an unexpected awkward situation..I feel like Im lieing if I say working out and eating right...even though I am doing that...if someone happens to be with me that knows I had the surgery I feel very uncomfortable lieing in front of them when they know the I tell them I had the surgery?? but I dont want to make it sound like its all just the surgery..Im working my butt off with this..would I of been able to lose this much weight without the band? Probably not but if I shoot out I had lapband than I feel like Im doing myself an injustice but if I don't tell them I feel like Im lieing and perpetrating!! what a dilemma....I really dont know how to handle this..I never put too much thought in it before but now that Im getting several people asking me about it I gotta figure out how to handle it! I dont mind people knowing that I had the surgery..if I can help someone or inspire someone Im all for it...but Im not sure if I want EVERYONE that asks me to know....I kinda want to sometimes take ALL the credit...dont I deserve it? *sigh* I do enjoy the attention though...I still look in the mirror and see such a heavy person still so when outside people notice and say something I know that all that hard work is finally noticeable. Its what I need to keep going. I plan on measuring myself this weekend so I will make sure to post the inches lost too! Im slowly making my started my crest whitening strips last week and even though my bottom teeth kill me everynight aching and so senstive Im not stopping...I want the most pearly whites I can on my list is to get some more highlights in my hair another shopping trip in March and than I am going to start tanning in April. I love when I tan..but i know its so bad for the skin. I havnt tanned in a tanning bed since last spring and I try to give my skin a break but Fat looks so much better least that used to be my saying!...Im going to hold off as long as I can though and I am going to hit a dermatologist first for a complete skin check prior to starting... satisifed now all you anti-tanning people?? if I could just get down to that new goal of 210 by Aug. 1st I think I will be good to go!! than what?? I guess stare at myself all day in the mirror...LOL


  1. I think you should take the credit ALL the time - you're the one doing this! And you're doing a wonderful job too!!

    I am happy to read about your NSV's - great job!

  2. I agree with Lisa...take the credit. I don't like everyone knowing about the band and have flat out lied to some people that asked if I had it. I'm sure it was written all over my face though...I'm not a great liar. LOL