Sunday, October 17, 2010

So Ready for my Fill!!

2nd fill in 48hours! I cannot wait but can't help but think that Im getting my hopes up too much or have too high of expectations. I just think that I have been pretty much doing this on my own for almost 2 and half months and really am wanting some help! Help that I paid 15 friggin grand for! Im still going to the gym a few times a week, walking than taking some classes. my eating has been ok..I have my days. some days I do great and track everything and watch what I eat and other days I just eat. I dont think Iv done too bad, however, there are times I just eat too much and don't practice the "band rules" like I should. I was actually thinking about that on my way back from the gym today. how can you stick to the rules if you feel so normal?? I did good with it the first 8 weeks but since my last fill and not getting anymore restriction, I just kinda gave up on the rules and just did weight watchers and exercised. I know if I tell the doctor that Tuesday that they won't like it but at this point Im doing what I need to do to make it through until I get the restriction. Last night my husband and I went to this new mexican restaurant. I eat several chips with salsa and ordered a chicken taco salad. I didnt eat the shell it came in but I did pretty much eat the whole salad and took some sips of some water. I was STUFFED after I eat! felt like my band was gonna pop right off my stomach! I wanted to eat more cause it was so good but knew if I did I would feel worse..I was so thirsty too but couldnt drink because that would of just set me over the edge. I know that I have SOME restriction cause pre-band I would of eat the entire taco salad with shell, more chips and salsa and drank an alcoholic drink or two, however, I always ate more than the average person so to be honest that little restriction isnt enough to make a difference in a weight change for me. This week I actually started taking some old Phentermines I had lefftover from last year that the dr. gave me. They work as far as your appetite goes but DAMN I was a B-I-T-C-H after 2 days! Needless to say after wiggin out at work and on my husband I didn't take them again. I forgot how on edge they make me. The good thing is after taking them for a couple days I got below that 270 mark and was in the 60's but I havnt weighed myself since so I have a feeling Im back in the 70's again:( and the struggle continues! I cannot wait to share how my 2nd fill goes! Hopefully this time he finds my port without a 15 minute digging episode, that was pretty nerve wracking and uncomfortable!! Alright peeps wish me luck on Tuesday!!

1 comment:

  1. Good LUCK to you!! It's almost here!! I know you've been waiting for this for a long time - I'll be thinking about you!