UGH!

Hey everyone...sorry I havn't posted in a while..I just really havnt had any great news or new info and been kinda busy. I basically have been just chuggin along...Havn't really lost anymore weight..I have managed to stay in the 240's this past week but the scale is teetering between 245 -248...it changes weekly. Iv beeen having a tough time trying to figure out if I should get another fill or not. I moved my appointment up to March 1st about 4 weeks sooner than scheduled because I am having such a hard time losing weight now. I can tell I am at my 6 month marker because just like when I dieted pre-band I am starting to struggle mentally and strugglin with getting to the gym. I just dont feel like going..I am making myself go still but I find that I start skipping here and there plus I am not sticking to my eating and the band rules in the past couple weeks. I still can eat a good bit of food about 2 cups at a meal. I am still getting stuck and find myself leaning toward "easier" foods because im tired of that feeling. I actually got pretty sick tonight and vomited for the 2nd time since having surgery. this was pretty bad though not like the first time. I didnt think I was going to stop...very weird. I am pretty sure its because I was eating too fast and eating more than I should. I am still learning how to eat and you would think after 6 months I would begin to have this down..but its a constant battle with my mind and my old habits, habits I just can't seem to break.....the fast eating, big bites...eating crap I shouldnt...eating after Im full...UGH!! I realize now more than ever that this is such a mind thing for me and that even having the surgery doesnt change who I am and how I deal with food!! I know I won't quit or give up but its such a an up and down ride! one week Im on point and the next Im hitting a downward spriral! I am going to talk to the dr. on Monday and hopefully he can help make the decision if he feels I need a fill or if I just need to change my habits and get back in the game! I will keep you all posted!!

Fill Please!!

I sucked it up and called my doctor today to move my fill up...I have lost NO weight since my fill on Jan 11th. I am holding steady at 250...I have been teeter tottering to 249 and back for 3 weeks now , my short lived 240 excitement was just that...short lived. My appetite is increasing and I can eat a larger portion size now before I even begin to fill full. I dont even feel like I had another fill last month! I still am having stuck episodes though with wings, chips and even on salmon. I have to admit I have not been eating as great since the week I was sick but you would think with the band you dont have to be sooo anal every day all the time!! I do find myself leaning toward easier foods like mashed potatoes and cookies..lol..That is frustrating to me..I find that if I dont hit the gym at least 3x per week and watch what I eat everyday, I dont lose anything....I could accept that when I dieted but with the band I thought it would be..how do I say it? EASIER!!! I know that I probably wouldnt of lost 50lbs without it especially this fast but when you are on the low end of the process its hard to think of the good stuff. I want to lose so much more weight and of course I want it like yesterday! but by june would work:)..Is that too much to ask?...I hate the idea that I have hit a stand still for a month now...that is such wasted time in my eyes...that could be another 8lbs! At my last visit the doctor said he didnt want to see me back for 3 months...that put me at April 19th. There is no way in hell I am gonna wait that long for another fill...when I called I was lucky that they got me in March 1st. I just want to get to my sweet spot where I really am full after half of a cup. right now Im still almost 2 cups until I feel full and satisfied. I figure worse case I have to just struggle through and try to do my best for another 3 weeks, it sure is better than 2.5 months! I alreay have 8cc's in the band and it only goes up to 11..Im a little nervous that Im so close and only 6 months out! Oh yea..speaking of 6 months..I completly forgot to recongnize my 6 monh bandiversary! Happy friggin anniversary to me!!! lol...I would of preferred to bring it in another 10lbs down but I guess I cant have it all!!