Eating Struggles...

So I changed my blog name from my journey to Cupcakes&Carrots....this sums up my everyday battle since a couple weeks after surgery...the constant mind games I play with myself...knowing I should eat healthy but WANTING the things I shouldnt have and giving in at times. For the past week I have been eyeing one single Hostess Twinkie left from a box I bought my son (yes my son not me..I sware) and everyday I think "should I eat it or just throw it away"..finally today I decided to take it and throw it away..only about 2 hrs later actually thinking about taking it back out the garbage, I mean its still in the wrapper right?? What have I come to?.I have a VERY hard time throwing out food and always have. I dont know why I have that problem, my parents never made me clean my plate growing up, I never went hungry and was never told not to throw out food but somewhere, at some point I decided that the plate always gets clean, leftovers are saved and eaten until gone (most of the time). I am one of those " all the poor people in the world that are hungry would die for this food Im tossing". My husband has a habit of always leaving something on his plate....so when Im done I can put my plate directly in the dishwasher while I always have to scrape his in the trash and it friggin annoys me..why can't he eat that one last piece of meat or that last spoon of rice?? When I say that he looks at me like Im crazy and than I think well maybe if I left some food on my plate I wouldnt be in the predicament Im in now. I dont know if I will ever be able to throw out food or have the waiter take my plate without boxing it up, but dammit I need to accept the fact that I am going to have to do that sometimes, its part of the new me, the new lifestyle I committed to....but I know I won't go down without a fight:)