HUNGRY......

I knew it was coming that creature...the monster I was scared of.....HUNGER! As soon as that doctor took those 2cc's out of me 2 days ago, I knew it would happen. I was hungry a little earlier in the week but didn't feel like I could physically eat so it was bearable, but WOW today the game is truly on!!! I have been starving all day..I never knew what hunger pains felt like before...really true hunger pains. Its a little eye opening and believe it or not I am finding a new respect for food. I was thinking today that part of this process of and steps of drinking/eating must also be there for psychological reasons. I think it mentally prepares you. Prepares you to be able to deal with a little hunger if it creeps up on you in your life and helps you to appreciate food for what it really is..to keep you sustained, healthy and alive not to gorge yourself anytime anywhere you want. Today I could definitely of ate more than I allowed myself. I got in most of my fluids today about 40oz but still struggled with my protein. I woke up and made a strawberry protein drink stomach was growling like crazy. I made my son waffles and wanted a bite so bad. Than on the way out the door to run some errands I warmed up some broth from wonton soup I ordered last night (while my husband chowed on general tso chicken..:( ) and than sipped water while out. While we were out my husband ran through Wendy's to get himself a sandwich and my son something. I decided to get some chili and try to see if I could emulsified it enough to make liquid. I kept reading people doing that online so I figured it might work and make me feel more full. While my husband& son chomped on fries and chicken sandwiches I was about to cry I was so hungry. I put down the window so it would take some of the smell away and wouldnt even look at the food. I wanted something so bad. I was thinking that I have not ate in a full week and all Iv had was water, crystal light, protein shakes and broth. My body wanted food!! I started to get irritable and snapped at my husband the rest of the way home. Once I got home we tried to the chili. added alot of water to it and a scoop of plain protein and grounded it with my magic bullet until it was completely broken down to liquid. I ate it very slow and only had about a half a cup. It went down very well and I had no problems. A few hours later I tried another half a cup and as of now no issues. That did make me feel a little more sustained that regular broth but until I am allowed it I figured I didnt want to make the habit. So the rest of the night I am sipping on crystal light and when I get really starving again have some broth. I am down 17lbs in just one week so I am going to keep trying my best to fight through the hunger and keep on track with the list the dr. gave me. It is really hard, harder than I expected but no matter how much research you do or how much you talk to the doctor you never get the true experience until you live it. I have been taking my multi vitamin that I got from the bariatric store online. I still need to push more protein. We went to my sister and her husbands house tonight and had dinner.. I had my chili and everyone else ate grilled bratwurst and fries...I wanted to eat so bad but as I was sitting there sipping on some water I couldn't help but think that so many activities with family and friends are around food...its like all the time!! I vowed to stay away these gatherings for a couple weeks until at least I could eat mushy foods because being around food right now is way too hard. I really feel this is my toughest time even more tough than all the pain I had last week. so if I can make it through this I really feel like I got this! its very empowering. I think about all the people in the world who are starving everyday and I figure I can at least make it through a few weeks...